Always On Your Side
by JulzPadfootMoony
Summary: DH Spoilers! A short songfic about the relationship between Remus Lupin and Sirius Black after Sirius' death. After Remus' death, they meet again. Written as a brainstorming project. Plz R&R. Not a bad songfic trust me! RL/SB, implied RL/NT.


**A/N: **Hello all you lovely people reading this now! This is my very first songifc, and I know they aren't very popular amongst readers. The only reason I wrote this was because I was in a major writer's block and listening to this song at the same time, and it just came to me. I took the inspiration and began to write, trying to break the block in my mind for the sake of my other story, _Lying Low_, which is a Remus/Sirius fic taking place post-GoF, and is still being written. However, this songfic is **NOT** part of _Lying Low_ at all. Please bear with me and tell me what you think. I'm only posting it because it seems a waste just to leave it on my hardrive collecting dust. It's a bit rough around the edges, and not thought out extremely well, but I was simply brainstorming. It changes from Remus' perspective and thoughts to Sirius' after a while, then they both come in. Thanks for reading!

**DISCLAIMER:** The song is 'Always On your Side' by Sheryl Crow. The lyrics, in bold, belong to her and not me! The Harry Potter series and any characters related belong to JK Rowling. I am **not** profiting!

**WARNING:** Huge, ugly, monstrous spoilers for Deathly Hallows ensue! If you have not read it yet, do **not** read any further! You have been warned!

* * *

**_Always On Your Side_**

**  
My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away  
But every now and then you come to mind  
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game  
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide  
When you knew that I was always on your side**

Remus had just finished packing the last box of his belongings, sitting on his and Sirius' bed and staring down at a picture of his lover that had been taken not too long ago at Christmas. He let the tear drops cascade down his cheeks, feeling his heart being torn up even more. Every second Sirius was not with him, a little part of him died.

It had been two months already, and Remus could hardly believe it. Dumbledore had instructed the Order to pack up everything they needed from the house a couple of weeks ago; they had to change to a safer Headquarters now that Sirius was no longer the last living Black relative.

Remus let out a soft whimper as he remembered the sullen mood Sirius had been in ever since Harry had returned to Hogwarts after Christmas. He felt so guilty for having to be away from his lover so often. No matter how many times people had tried to call Sirius down to join them for meals or just as company, he just ignored them and found a new place to hide in the large house. And yet Remus had always been there with Sirius, safe within his heart.

**Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent  
But your demons and your angels reappeared  
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be  
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here  
Leavin' me so many questions all these years**

Remus thought back to the times when things had seemed so simple, so perfect. The many years spent at Hogwarts with Sirius, James, and Peter would forever stay branded in his mind. He could still remember the scent of the grass the very first time James had let him fly on his broom. He could hear Sirius' bark like laugh in his ears, laughing over nothing and everything all at the same time. He could even imagine Peter, watching excitedly as James caught and released the Golden Snitch on a hot summer day after their last O.W.L. Exam.

But then his thoughts shifted to that night after Halloween and his transformation, when Dumbledore had come to tell him that James and Lily were dead, and Sirius had been carted off to prison for killing Peter Pettigrew and betraying them all as the spy. The betrayal he felt was beyond words. He thought he had known Sirius, thought he could trust his best friend and lover. The Sirius he knew was gone, dead and buried with the rest of Remus' friends and life.

He had been so lost, so confused. He had lost every person he had ever cared about, and was truly alone in the world. He didn't know how to restart his life, or even if he _could_ restart it. There were so many things he had wanted to say to James and Lily. There were so many questions he had wanted to ask Sirius; mainly- _why?_

**But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear  
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear  
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally  
This isn't how it's really meant to be  
No it isn't how it's really meant to be**

Remus smiled as he remembered the first time he had met thirteen-year-old Harry on the Hogwarts Express. He looked so much like James it was alarming, though his eyes were definitely Lily's. Seeing Harry had brought up all the raw emotions Remus had been trying to suppress for so many long years. He tried to be happy in his new job, making new friends- most importantly befriending Harry.

But with Sirius Black on the loose once more, all of the feelings had come back ten-fold. Remus was starting to think he was never meant to be happy, never meant to be close to anyone again. After losing all of his friends once, he couldn't stand to think of losing Harry to Sirius as well.

In the back of his mind, however, Remus had known something wasn't right. He had the strongest feelings that Sirius wasn't the bad guy after all. As the school year went by, Remus had uncovered most of the truth, and was fully ready to believe that Sirius was innocent.

Remus had felt like his world was coming back together piece by piece as he embraced Sirius in the Shrieking Shack. All the resentment, hatred, and blame melted away as the familiar gray stared straight into his eyes, and a tingling sensation erupted through his body.

**Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,  
How to pull it close and make it stay  
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away  
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why  
Even through it all, I'm always on your side**

Remus was pulled back to the present, still staring down at the picture of Sirius. He began to remember the painful transition back into friendship with the man, and the wonderful relationship that ensued. He had tried so hard to keep a hold of Sirius this time, never wanting to have to go through the pain of losing the love of his life again.

Sirius had always been a free spirit, however, and when he went along to the Ministry to help Harry, Remus wasn't surprised in the least bit. No matter how much they had all persuaded him to stay, he had refused to stay behind while Harry was in such danger.

Remus' world had stopped as he turned and watched as Sirius fell through that strange veil. He knew instantly that Sirius would not be coming back, and it took all of his strength to hold Harry back and not go charging through the veil after Sirius himself. He felt as though his life had finally ended as he watched the man he loved fall to his death, powerless and fragile.

Remus had spent so many nights trying to conceive why fate seemed to have been so determined to make him miserable. He felt more alone then ever as he sobbed until his body ached, wanting nothing more than to feel Sirius in his arms once more. Again, he was left to carry on without any answers or explanations.

But as Sirius had fallen through the veil, he had taken the only part of Remus that he had left; his heart. Sirius would forever have Remus' heart, no matter what.

**But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear  
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear  
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally  
But is this how it's really meant to be  
No it isn't how it's really meant to be  
**

Sirius was watching over Remus, longing to comfort his lover and tell him that it was alright; death was not the end. They would meet again someday and be able to live that happily-ever-after that they had been denied in the first life. Sirius wanted to tell Remus to move on, to be happy and find someone else.

Sirius watched as Remus fell in love with Tonks, though very reluctant the whole time. Remus had passed it off as not wanting to burden her with his curse, but Sirius knew the truth; Remus was still not over Sirius, and probably never would be. Remus did seem to be happier, however, which made Sirius beam down on him from his watchful home above.

At the birth of Remus' son, Sirius had never been happier for his once-lover. He knew Remus had always wanted children, and he had finally gotten his wish. Though he wished he could have been there to hold the little bundle of joy, he watched on, vowing to always keep an eye on the little one as if he were his own, just as he had done for James with Harry.

Sirius watched as Remus panicked, almost abandoning his wife and son to help Harry. With a little twist of his watchful state, Sirius made sure Harry put him right and made sure that he stayed with his new family. Remus needed them as much as they needed him.

But through all of this, Sirius wished more than anything he could be back with his lover. Even Remus had known his relationship with Tonks had not been right, admitting to Harry that he had made a grave mistake in marrying her. No, this wasn't how it was supposed to be, but there was nothing to be done to change it now.

**Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear  
How to pull it close and make it stay  
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away  
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why  
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life  
When you know that I was always on your side  
**

Sirius watched in horror as Remus was hit with a killing curse. This wasn't supposed to happen, he had a son to raise! He had been waiting for the day when he and Remus would be united once more, but he had never wanted the day to come this soon. He turned as the form of Remus appeared, smiling widely and holding his arms wide as if waiting for a hug.

Sirius ran forward and embraced his lover, kissing him passionately, while still feeling immensely upset that Remus' life had ended so quickly. "Dumbledore always said death wasn't the end. I guess he was right," Sirius said as he held his lover close.

Remus nodded slowly, frowning slightly as he watched the Battle commence through the Looking Glass Sirius had been using. "Have you been watching me all this time?" he asked quietly, thinking of everything that had happened between him and Tonks and feeling immediately guilty.

Sirius nodded and smiled. "Of course I have. And I want you to know that I don't care about you and Tonks. I was happy you found someone to be with. And Teddy...I'm so sorry, Remus. He'll have to grow up without you- "

"And without me, I'm afraid." Tonks had appeared behind the two men, smiling warmly. "It's alright, I knew you two would be together forever. I was trying to move your body, Remus...They hit me from behind. Our son...He's an orphan now," Tonks said, her eyes welling up with tears.

Remus smiled and walked forward, kissing her gently on the forehead and hugging her. "It's alright, love. He has Harry still, remember? If he learned anything from Sirius, it was how to be a good godfather," Remus said as he pulled away from his wife. "I never even wanted you in that battle, Dora. I'm sorry we both had to end up this way." Remus frowned. Now he had to chose between his wife and his lover; he'd sooner die again before making that choice.

Tonks seemed to have read his mind. "Sirius always had your heart, Remus. It was never mine to take. I don't mind, you should be with him." Tonks nodded, sighing a little bit sadly, but a true smile on her face.

Remus pulled Tonks into another hug, kissing the top of her head. "I did love you, Dora. But I was always _in_ love with Sirius," Remus whispered, backing away and feeling Sirius' arms wrap around his waist.

Tonks smiled and nodded. "I know..." her form began to dissipate as she looked behind her. "Daddy!" was the last thing Sirius and Remus heard before she disappeared completely.

Remus turned to face Sirius, smiling sadly. "It was _you_ who kept me wondering through this life," he whispered to his lover, wrapping his arms tightly around him. He could now spend an eternity with Sirius, no longer having to wonder _why_. He'd never felt so at peace before.

With Remus wrapped in his arms, Sirius was finally one hundred percent happy for the very first time. He couldn't wait to spend forever with the man in his arms. Sirius smiled and kissed Remus softly. "You know I was always on your side."

With that, the two men shared one more kiss, a bright light emitting from both of them like an ethereal glow. That glow was the same power with which Harry would defeat Voldemort, the reason Tonks was able to let Remus go. It was why everybody cried so hard when they found a loved one had died, or saw a friend fall. It was a force that was at once more wonderful and more terrible than death, than human intelligence, than all the forces of nature.

It was _love_.

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks so much for reading! I know, it was a bit cliche there at the end, but it seemed to fit anyways. Please review and let me know what you thought of it, even if you thought it sucked!


End file.
